The real ambushers

I recently looked into home security systems. I went online and asked for information from a couple of well known companies, Brinks and ADT. I kept missing the salesman from Brinks. I got several other phone calls, some which I missed at night, others which I ignored because I had just sat down to eat. I was particularly annoyed that they kept calling but wouldn't leave messages. Then, a Jessie from ADT called me. He was quite a character. He asked me if I knew what this or that particular term meant for their security systems features. He even said, "Get pen and write this down." I guess I was too naiive because I actually started taking notes. He went on to explain all the 101 (at least) unique features of their company that I guess nobody else in the home security system had. I wonder why they're not the only kid on the block that can do these things. Then, he told me about a feature that I didn't really think about at that time. He said they have a built in "ambush" feature. If I came home and I was put into an ambush situation, I could use a special code to turn off the system. Doing so would make it look like the system was being turned off but would really notify the police and they would start listening in on their special one way secret built in speaker. The unsuspecting ambusher's plans would stealthily be broadcast to the cops, who would rush to my house quietly and post haste. If they were going to hide me in a closet, the cops would hear that. I guess I would have to talk out of the side of my mouth to repeat everything in the direction of the system to guarantee the cops knew that. Of course, the would be amubushers would never know what's going on, right? They would have never learned about the intricacies of any of the security systems they ever encountered including the special silent ambush code that really doesn't turn off the system but only notifies the cops! Wait a second; if the system was off, I wouldn't need to put in a code to turn it off, right? And if it was on, how in the world would they ever be able to get into the house to ambush me? Sounds like a pretty lousy security system. I should have asked Jessie that question but after listening to his shmuck sales spiel for 20 minutes, I only wanted to hang up. I hadn't heard from Brinks yet so I told him I had all the info I wanted and would take everything into consideration and get back to him. End of conversation, right? No way. He then reverted into the quasi motorboat salesman mode (but but but just like the sound of an outboard engine) and told me he understood what I wanted to do BUT then said, why don't you schedule an installation and if you change your mind, you can call us back and cancel? Nope, didn't want to do that, kept trying to tell him that. He must have been going for his umpteeenth pushiest salesman of the month award. I finally said enough in so many words with restraint to not make the conversation R rated and hung up. My final thoughts were, I wonder what ADT must stand for? Then, the natural acronym popped into my head: Ambushes Done Tenaciously. Makes perfectly good sense. I think I'll look into some cheaper home security systems: maybe a tape recording of a dog that comes on if somebody bangs on the window (won't be hard, I can record the barkings of the vicious dog that lives next door) or something other low tech. Thank goodness I really live in a good neighborhood. I guess I learned my lesson: pushy salesman are a dime a dozen.